Be My Light
by MasterFranny
Summary: [KaiTala] [Tala POV] Deep Inside one soul you can see so much darkness... and can someone’s fire bright it up?


MasterFranny: Hi! This was my first fic, the first I posted on this site a looooooong time ago, but after a while I decided to rewrite it since the first time it was without BETA reader.

I wish you'll like it, this is the rewritten version with the help of my nice BETA **Reiven**. Try her fic as well!

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**Pairings:** Kai/Tala

**Rating:** PG-13

**Disclaimer:** I will never own BeyBlade. If you want proof on that, my name is not Aoki Takao. So I won't own.

**Warnings:** This is Yaoi. Shounen-Ai, so you're warned. If you don't like YAOI/Shounen-Ai then stop reading and go read something else. Don't flame or insult me because you hate yaoi, I would just laugh on your face.

"talking"

'_thinking'_

" talking into other languages "

**Be My Light**

**One-Shot (Tala POV)**

I'm sitting on the rooftop of Tyson's house, lost deep within my thoughts. The silence is almost deafening as I glance around, admiring the sight.

It's almost midnight. A dark veil fell over the world, changing its appearance from what it appears to be before. Everything seems so different in the night; as if it wore a mask during the day when the sun shines, but loses it as the darkness approaches.

Now that no light can brighten the sight, blinding your eyes so that you can't see. Now that things start to reveal their essence, appearing more dangerous and bringing the feeling of nostalgia to me, I can feel like I'm finally apart of this world. I'm a creature of the dark, an obscure being with darkness filling my heart; a corrupted soul burdened by thoughts. I can feel something akin to peace as I breathe in a sigh of relief. My soul lighter at being freed from is tainted life.

My mind wanders in the shadows of my past. The ghosts of pain finding their way back to me, looking at me with iciness at the things I did. The things I've said and everything I've suffered. With coldness alone… emotionless, because cold is a part of me.

Ice clouds my heart and soul. Frozen and cold, as dark as the night itself. Ice that was part of me for so long that I can't even remember a time I was without. Ice, which I had been taught to use to my advantage. Ice that has tainted me so much I have no hope for salvation.

I was taught to live without hesitation; to endure the iciness and after years of training… suffering; to dominate that element and make it part of me. It will make me strong on the inside and untouchable on the outside; calculative and cool; to be able to calm down mind and body.

So the coldness became me; it invaded me, controlling the way I act, the way I think… freezing every other emotion other than rage and hate, molding me into the Ice monster they wanted me to be.

They made it so that I was perfect… I was emotionless… and I was under _their_ control.

I can feel the chill around me as I move, as I stand, as I lay down. I can feel it even where there is none, because the truth is; it is in everything I look at, it lives in me, a resistant barrier that no one can break and that makes me unable to feel emotions.

I am the Wolf.

I am a loner, anti-social and independent. Living to be apart of the icy world spreading all around him. It was cold… alone like a wolf that had been shunned by its pack. Homeless and an outcast to the world, all while trying to ignore the loneliness and pain. I care about myself and myself alone.

My pride, my life was the only thing I can care about. I wanted to win because winning could give me a glimmer of emotions; pride; a feeling, which is a normal human emotion.

To be like everyone else.

To be human.

But I am the cold.

I always thought I would never be free; I was convinced that no one could break the ice around my frozen heart and that I would be cursed to live a hollow life with no hope… _forever_.

But his fire… His fire burns with a passion so deep and determined. A fire so hot it burns those unwary who dare to come closer, yet at the same time, its warmness and comfort was the one that taught me nothing is impossible.

His undying flame, hot and strong like the sun itself, hit me with a fierce power, melting and burning the ice that imprisoned me; the fire razed the cold without mercy, leaving me exposed to the feelings I never experienced before.

He was _my_ sun, the only person who could make me feel alive again. The person who could make the emotions rage deep within me once again. He could make me human… like I would have never been before. With his burning spirit he created a connection between me -the real me- and the world.

At first I was worried, deadly worried. Those unknown emotions were overwhelming, so powerful, and so different from the indifference I used to feel. I hated him for this; he'd exposed the weakest part of me to the world, with no mercy, no protection … I _hated_ him.

But how can you hate the sun? For he was my sun; I run away from the light, I run away from the heat, trying to find peace in the darkness, the mirror of my being. Yet I couldn't help but feel attracted by him. His light attracted me and scared me all the same. I wanted it so badly but I was afraid to be exposed by it. I wanted the warmth and I was afraid of it.

His flame flares in the darkness of my heart. His fire burns inside him so fiercely; into his veins, into his heart, into his spirit, into his deep crimson eyes as pools of burning hell.

I wanted that sun for myself. I want those beautiful red eyes fixed on me and warmness that only he can create to make me feel… Free.

When his fire is away from me I feel the cold return, catching me again, I can feel it spread inside me, the ice freezing my heart again, my mind falling back into darkness, my light hope vanish.

I want to stop falling, I want to turn my head up and see the light; I want to escape the dark that's my home. I became addicted to his fire, I need it like a drug: the sun is my drug, and he is my sun.

I need him now, I wish the heat to come and to feel the warmth he's the cause of, the fire that can burn my defenses, the heat of his stare tearing through my eyes, I want the sun to shine just for me.

It's egoistic.

I can't help it, I wish, I desire, I want the sun to raise and shine for me, just for me and for no one else.

My sun my fire, my heat… my light.

He's all this to me, and even more.

I look up to the sky, so black, with the tiny lights known as start shining faintly, and I search for the moon. She's looking at me, her pale evanescent light bathing me. She's beauty, but so jejune compared to the sun. Her light is too vain, too pale, and so hopeless.

The moon reflects the sun's light, without it she's nothing. Just like me with my sun. Without it I would be lost in the dark.

I sighed aloud, feeling the hopelessness of this situation.

" It's beautiful, ne? "

I snap my head to the right, startled, to see him standing there. I wonder how he managed to come so near without me noticing, but there he is. His intense eyes are fixed on the moon. I can see the relaxation in his posture.

He's so beautiful, so priceless. I can feel the heat being emitted from his entire being. The heat I am searching for. I could remain like this forever, absorbing his fire…

I just want to stay here with him, forever.

How can he not realize he's even more beautiful then the pale moon up there?

How can he not realize that his crimson eyes, piercing my soul now, are warming me up; sending waves of fire through my spirit? How can he not realize what he's doing to me?

I want him to be my sun… I want him to be my fire…

" I want you to be my Light … "

The time freezes as he stares at me in shock, confusion shining through his wonderful eyes. A soft shade of pink tingeing my own his cheeks.

Then I realized I had spoken it aloud.

That's not possible. Isn't it?

I blushed crimson and I look away, faking fascination for the rooftop we're on.

" W-What? " his tone is laced with shock.

I don't dare to look up at him and at the same time, I can't stop my voice from speaking.

As if it's coming out on its own, speaking my thoughts aloud, " Your fire… your fire warms up my soul. Melting the ice around me. Every time you're with me I feel so alive. I feel like I would never be cold again … I feel like I can't stay away from you. I want to just feel your fire melt away the ice. I want to just close my eyes and stay with you … "

My voice trails away and I stop, the silence is overwhelming. I suddenly realize I ruined it all; the friendship we created. The little understanding we started to have for each other. Now I ruined it all by telling him about my stupid feelings. If I kept silent, I could enjoy him being here, accepting the fact of just having his presence near me without him knowing, but now he will leave.

I lost him.

He will… he will hate me…

My heart shudders at the mere thought and suddenly I feel the cold dawning back on me, losing the warmth the comforting presence given off by him being close. It's like the darkness is threading to eat me alive, this time with no mercy, nor hope.

I can feel the cold like I never could before, it deepens with every breath, every shudder and every second with just feeling that he will hate me. It's what I need to lose hope.

I think I'm shuddering now, but I couldn't care less. I never thought I would start feeling like this for anyone, it's just too much and I can't get accustomed to the feeling of loss. I can't bear to even think that I am so weak as to needing someone to be at peace.

Maybe it's really stupid, but I feel stupid and yet, I don't care… if I can't have his love, my entire life is not worth living!

As they say, 'love is unfair'.

I can see the darkness behind my closed eyes as I surrender. I accept my fate and I renounce resistance. There is nothing worth to fight for now… it doesn't matter -nothing matters…

Then I feel something.

Something smooth, sweet… warm against my lips. Brushing up against them lightly but still managing to chase away the cold.

I dared to open my eyes again, and the first thing I see…

…

He's kissing me.

His hot lips are crushed against my freezing ones as his fire rages inside me, chasing away the cold. His eyes shut while he leans against me. Then his crimson pools open, and lock with my own, showing me…

I think I stopped shivering. How can I shudder with the burning presence being so close to me? I'm not that cold anymore, in fact I am not cold at all.

He pushes away ever so slowly, and I'm suddenly aware that I have no air left in me to breath -I am actually blushing- so I start to gasp. He's still looking at me, as if piercing my soul and… I can't think anything else but _'he kissed me'_.

He **kissed** me.

I blink stupidly, in awe at his beauty as he looks at me with a serious face, one moment later smiling as a sun coming out from behind the clouds - I can't believe he's smiling that way at me.

I feel something wet trickle down my cheeks, dripping onto my hands and his. I realize suddenly that I am actually crying. I've never cried before. I feel ashamed and weak. At the same time, I feel as if I am going to die of happiness.

Is this the joy that people cheer for so much? It's… overwhelming. It's strong… it hurts.

His arms pull me closer, hugging me tightly against his chest. Allowing me to surrender to the touch and release the sob that chokes me. I bury my face in his shirt and cries.

I can hardly hear him hushing me. After a moment, I look up with reddened eyes. I can see his serene face and I hear his next words well, though, I can't believe in them.

" I… I love you, Tala. "

He loves me? **Me**? I am not worthy his love… I am not…

But as I continue repeating those three words he continues hugging me, saying he's so sorry because he never could make himself express it before. I feel anxiety and disbelief disappear as I sigh, knowing he's not lying.

He loves me, no matter how strange that can sound to me, he loves me and I love him.

I love him -I. Love. Him.

I feel so good within his embrace, so protected and so relaxed... I feel warm. I really can't live without that heat.

I close again my eyes again. I am not crying anymore, instead I can hear him sing something that is lulls me to sleep; I don't know the song, still it relaxes me. I am close to falling asleep, but I know that the nightmare will not haunt me any longer. There is no cold sensation anymore, no ice, and no despair. And as I slip into the darkness I realize that it feels so different from the one I used to feel before, I can think only one thing before it consumes me completely.

I love you, my Phoenix.

My sun.

My light.

**Owari**

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**MasterFranny:** so this is it. If you liked then send me a review. If you didn't liked it, then tell me why and give me advices to write better fics.

In any case, review!

Ja ne

PS deleted two of my other fics as well, and any of you who used to read "I am Nothing" and "The Way you Feel" don't worry, I will put them back as soon as possible. I just wait for **Reiven** to check the spelling, since now I can rewrite the first one better. The second one will NOT be a "you decide the pairings" anymore, unless you want it deleted again.


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